I shall think twice next time I'm offered salmon, not that The Whalestoe is particularly fond of dishing out poached portions dolloped with dill sauce.

Even more embarrassing than my own pitiful and mewling whines was my complete disregard for the possibility that you were having and suffering your own adventures and tragedies.

Your description of the sinking fishing boat left me speechless. Your phrases and their respondent images still keep within me. The cold water lapping at your ankles, threatening to pull you down into "freezing meadows stretched to the horizon like a million blue pages" or "a ten second scramble to a life raft where all of a sudden the eighth second says no" and of course the worst of all "leaving behind someone who wasn't a friend but might have become one."

You are absolutely right. Losing the possibility of something is the exact same thing as losing hope and without hope nothing can survive.

You are so full of brave insights. They are not for nothing. I have to tell you for a moment your words succeeded in keeping the boat afloat and your Haitian's lungs full of air.

On a brighter note, I am very pleased that you managed to avoid those fights. The occasion you described where you walked from the factory showed great courage and maturity. Your mother glows with pride over her son's new found strength.

School is going to bring you untold pleasures. I promise.

With love and eternal regard,

P.S. I fear the New Director insists on reading my mail now He would not admit to this directly but things he says along with certain mannerisms indicate he intends to study and censor my letters. Stay alert. We may need to find some alternate means of communicating.

September 19,1985

Dear, dear Johnny,

This is somewhat urgent. I've gotten an attendant to mail this. He will take it beyond The Whalestoe grounds and thus help us avoid the New Directors prying eyes.

As I indicated in my last letter, I've grown increasingly suspicious about the staff here, especially where my personal care is concerned. I need to feel we can correspond without interference.

For now all you need to do is place in your next letter a check mark in the lower right hand corner. That way IT1 know you received this letter.

Don't make the check mark too big or too small or else the New Director will know something's afoot. He is an exceedingly sly man and will be able to grasp any effort to exclude him. So just make it a simple check mark—our little code, so effortless and yet so rich in communication.

Don't tarry. Respond to your mother in a hurry. I need to know if this attendant is trustworthy. In general, they are a sordid lot. They're supposed to make my bed every day. A week has passed since they last touched these scrappy blue things they have the audacity to refer to as linen.

With love and heartfelt thanks, Mom